A deeper dive into LGBTQIA+
This pride month, we aim to increase the visibility and acceptance of the LGBTQIA+ community, one documentary at a time.
A Different Approach
While the last articles were devoted to raise awareness and inform, today we delve a little deeper. A secret kind of love, hidden away with stolen kisses and holding hands, away from a discerning eye. It is funny that this is seen as a “different kind of love”.
How do we determine the difference between two forms of “philia”?
Familial, and familiar, and yet questioned? A common pursuit towards pragma, and still claiming to be different?
Is the mentality of discrimination a commentary on society as a whole, or the development of human mentality? We know that evolution has no say in our beliefs- even in a place where evolution is believed to be a myth by some! So it seems almost petty to hold double standards for love.
What Made Me Think This Way
A Secret Love is a 2020 American documentary film, directed by Chris Bolan. Ryan Murphy serves as a producer on the film, while Jason Blum serves as an executive producer under his Blumhouse Productions banner. It stars Terry Donahue and Pat Henschel. It was released on April 29, 2020, by Netflix.
This might seem like an irrelevant point, an abrupt turn from a philosophical approach to an infodump. But this documentary calls for a heart-felt approach, even while stating facts. It was very aptly reviewed by The Hollywood Reporter as “tender without being cloying, naturalistic without seeming contrived,” and I could not have explained it better.
Pat and Terry’s story is beautiful, as is the love their most open-minded family members give them as they grow comfortable with coming out completely in an era where it’s now acceptable.
A Secret Love should also be commended for its focus on the heart-breaking reality that all lives must come to an end, and we must adequately prepare for that.
What Is A Secret Love About?
The documentary traces the love story of two women- Pat Henschel and pro baseball player Terry Donahue- since 1947. It traces the 65- year journey of the couple overcoming the hurdles thrown against them, from homophobia to prejudice. It also delves into the history of prejudice in regards to LGBT couples (one example being bar raids which were efforts to apprehend possible LGBT people by judging their attire). The documentary is filmed in the late 2010s, covering the end-of-life plans of the couple.
Terry says,
“No regrets. I’d do it all over again. I think love is love and that’s the most important thing.”
It is but a reflection of her resolve and her unfaltering love for Pat.
It was not just about forbidden love, but also about letting go. I was so incredibly touched by this story because at the end of the day the only thing that matters most in life is that you shared it with the person that makes you and your family happy. This documentary perfectly conveys that.
The Hype- And Why A Secret Love Deserves All Of It
The film holds an astonishing approval rating of 100 percent, on the website Rotten Tomatoes, based on 42 reviews. The site’s critics consensus reads: “In telling one couple’s story, A Secret Love pays understated yet powerful tribute to a lifetime of choices and sacrifices made in the name of enduring devotion.”
Which is very impressive in itself. But rather as an appeal to a general audience, it tries to inform, and mend relationships.
The documentary has a realistic approach: unlike many that just gloss over the less-savory characteristics of the subjects, it represents the women as who they are- fully human, with their flaws put on full display. Be it Pat’s fierce protectiveness, or the family members’ process of acceptance.
Here’s Why it Now has a Place in My Heart
The best way into a poet’s heart is through poetry- Words that are heartfelt and deep, which imply a hidden connection between two souls, bound together by love.
Pat Henschel reads a poem aloud, aptly named Always — I’ll Remember This Night. It reads like this:
It might have been just one more walk
Beneath a moonlight hue
But darling — it meant everything
Because I walked with you
It might have been just one more night
A single night of seven
My darling — you were there with me
’Twas one more night of heaven
On we sauntered seldom speaking
As we passed through Moonlight Lane
Happiness walked there inside me
When you smiled and called my name
Hours fled like winged moments
Hand in hand we walked alone
’Twas one night I shall remember
One more night to call our own.
Out of almost all the reviews, I have read, almost 90 percent of them mention becoming very emotional after watching the documentary, and the few tears that escaped the corners of my eyes will attest to that. Choked throats in many instances, this documentary can make even grown men cry (not that grown men cannot cry- this is mentioned with reference to the popular meme).
A Wrapping Note
A Secret Love isn’t a comprehensive documentary on the history of LGBT prejudice in America, but it is a personal and intimate look at two amazing women who had to hide who they truly were most of their lives in order to be happy. At times heart-breaking but always beautiful, A Secret Love at least promises a happy ending to seven decades of dedicated love between these two. If you have any interest in true love stories or LGBT history in America, A Secret Love is worth your time.
Ending with a snippet from the previous post; if anyone reading this gives in to any of the negative slurs (and this applies to anyone in the community and the allies) thrown your way, I can and I will gently bonk the thought away from your head.
YOU ARE LOVED. YOU ARE VALID. And overall, an amazing human being. I am so proud of you.
About the Author: Supraja Vaidhyanathan is just a first-year college student trying to maintain a semblance of sanity by writing: Mostly poems and occasionally stories to intrigue.
